Great Expectations

There is a common consensus that once you’re in your thirties and forties, things begin to make sense, a time where many come to know who they really are and look more deeply at life. Whether the individual perceives it as a positive or negative time, it seems to be a period where people dare to ask themselves big questions and start demanding answers.

So what is it about the big 3 0 that makes people wake up? Is it the appearance of a grey hair? Boredom? Cellulite? The imminence of death? Yeah, these factors probably have something to do with it, but I think what we have underestimated is the power of expectation and belief. When picturing the lifespan; By 30 – 40 years old, we expect ourselves to have started settling down or at the very least gained a certain level of comfort in our skin. It’s a time when we are expected to have answers, so if we haven’t found them we are forced to start looking. These age expectations are constantly changing and are dependent on many factors - but I have started to wonder that when it all boils down to it, perhaps the only particularly magical thing about being 30 is the psychological perception of what we think it holds for us.

I turned 20 this year and I find that basically shit all is expected of me on a deeper level ‘You’re young” “You’ve got all the time in the world” are extremely frequent responses when I decide to take a reflective view point. I almost feel as if I am being dissuaded to care about things, purely because I am young and I should obviously be busying my mind with boys and alcohol like any ‘normal’ 20 year old. What disturbing and limiting views we have placed on age. If you’re under 30 then using your brain is not really required, but if you’re over 30 you better be stable and have all the answers OK!? If we continue to believe lifespan and maturity is this cut and dry, even if it’s from a deeply subconscious level, we will continue to have most 18-25 year olds acting like careless dip shits and confused 40 year old men fucking their secretaries and buying Ferraris. Expectation is a very powerful thing and can be used for both good and evil, and although I am a big believer of taking responsibility for your own actions, we’ve also got to remember the power we have in affecting others.

An experiment was conducted where a group of average students were divided into two classes. One class had a teacher who was told the pupils were gifted high achievers, while the other teacher was told hers were struggling slow learners. After some time, assessments of the student showed that the majority of the group which had been arbitrarily named as "gifted" obtained higher scores than they had previously, while the majority of the supposed "slow learners" scored lower. How both groups of kids performed had nothing to do with their real capabilities, but were simply reflections of the false beliefs their teachers had about them. When my mother wants me to empty the dishwasher for her, she simply leaves the door open. As I potter around making my breakfast in the morning it sits there expectantly, the gleaming dishes peaking out at me. I have never once closed the door on those clean plates, purely because of that damn blatant expectation staring me in the face.

If the only expectations we placed on each other were to have a sense of integrity and honesty about ourselves,(no matter how old) then there would be a lot less problems in the world. Epiphanies would not have to wait for the appearance of wrinkles if we could all just recognise that self awareness is independent of age. I think if we simply start encouraging more from the people around us - we may find that is exactly what we get. And really, If my mum can get me to do housework without saying a word - just think of the possibilities :)

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