Stranger Danger?

I have always been one to talk to strangers. Whether it be a 5 minute conversation while waiting for a lift, or the eventuation of a meaningful friendship, I have always cherished this ability and the important openness it requires. Although some people do admire this side of me, more often than not I have been criticized, questioned or warned about my inclination for new friends "Why do you talk to randoms all the time?" "You have to be careful who you trust Vanessa." Human connection is one of the most beautiful and powerful things we as people have the ability to experience. Sharing energy is priceless and extremely influential and I believe exactly what life is about...so why may I ask, Are people so damn wary of it?

From frequently catching public transport I have often looked around and witnessed this common 'own little world' syndrome people choose to be overcome by. People on trains are scared to even look at each other let alone talk. Simply locking eyes with someone sitting across from you usually results in both parties nervously looking away, however with an abundance of iPods and MX papers to busy ourselves; this uncomfortable awkwardness can usually be avoided – thank god for that. I have often wondered how much we could all learn on a simple 40 minute train ride if conversation with strangers was the norm. How many potential stories and lessons and perspectives are in one carriage alone. What's everyone so afraid of?

I seriously think part of this fear comes from the whole 'Stranger Danger' thing drummed into us as kids...as children our brains do not have the ability to make informed and safe decisions true; so rather than parents teaching us about trust, instinct and perception its easier to just say "don't talk to anyone you don't know" But realistically, once you reach a certain age a charismatic man with a hot car and a handful of boiled lollies isn't always going to result in sex (and if it does we now have the cognition to convince ourselves it was his great personality that did it) My question is, If you can't trust strangers, who can you trust? Basically every person you know would have been a random to you at some point in your life. So what made it okay to speak to them? Because your cousin knew them? Because you had two friends in common on face book? This word 'Stranger' is fuelled with such negativity. But why? In the good words of the Simpson's "A strangers just a friend you've never met' (or was that Yeats?) Anyway, as corny as it sounds I really believe that.

I ultimately think everyone is just a little scared. We are constantly bombarded of images and news reports of rape and murder. Made to believe that we live in a world full of hidden motives, innuendo, selfishness and greed. (which granted there is an abundance of) However people start to believe that this is all we are and all we are really capable of, which is far from the truth. When really humans are naturally empathetic creatures -built for connection. When two people speak the neurons in their brain literally mirror each other, adjusting to each others feelings and thought processes in order to connect. So really by limiting our people circles and interactions we are denying our natural instinct and capabilities. By keeping to our own little worlds and thoughts we are safe, and with our own boundaries and limitations we set the exact pace of how we want to live. And yeah sometimes it's safer to not invite anyone completely foreign in to challenge that. To feel like we have control over what we do, who we speak to and what we want to learn is comforting, not to mention sad.

Sure one could argue that there are waay too many 'weirdos' in this world to not be wary. But that's where perceptiveness and instinct come in. Staying alert and open to people around you will more likely keep undesirables away in the first place because you're not living internally but opening up to what's around you. We need to start recognizing where these ideas about strangers have come from. Is closing ourselves off really about personal safety, or merely a protective covering of our own fragile egos? I don't think it's really strangers we are afraid of..but what we may learn about ourselves in the process.

What a beautiful thing it is to connect with someone. To learn something new, to share some helpful advice. A song you heard. A country you visited. A person you met. To share ideas, To understand, to relate, to introduce them to someone who may change their life. To compliment their shoes. To participate in other peoples lives. To be affected and to affect simultaneously. That's what it's about. There are so many souls floating around on this earth and not nearly as many connections between them all as there should be. So smile at someone the next time you are on the train. Don't put your head down when you cross someone on the footpath. It doesn't mean you have to try and strike up conversation with every single person you come into contact with. Simply open yourself up to inviting people into your world and be willing to reach out into theirs if occasion calls for it...and believe me it always does. You'll be surprised at how different it actually feels simply taking away this stranger danger mindset.

And let's face it, life's too short to say no to a hot man with lollies :)

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