I Got Nothin!

As I have mentioned I used to write a lot of blogs on my other 'msn live' my space, There was basically a new blog every few weeks - I loved writing them and people loved reading them. Remembering this, I decided to take a trip down memory lane and re-read all my entries from the past - and although admittedly some of it is outrageously unresearched and slightly ignorant, I must say - I was fucking funny!

But Alas, all my new space consists of is 2 loving tribute blogs...quite a change. And as honest and heartfelt I feel the entries are, I have to admit I did feel this strange nostalgic sadness reading my old stuff. As I poured over my witty analogies and my vulgar language, I was thinking Why don't I write like this anymore?! I want that crazy, critical, bad mouthed Vanessa back! Where is she!? It was only a year or so ago wasn't it?!

So I signed onto myspace all geered up to churn out some completely critical blog dripping with sarcasm, to please the masses and assure myself that I still had it in me. But nup, I had nothing.
And then what I realised was, who gives a shit? And although I feel like I've been saying that for such a long time, now I'm reaching a point now where it has a whole other meaning, and I believe it. A whole other level of self acceptance I suppose. I think, like many, I've always been trying to either break a mould or fit into one. And I've realised - fuck it.


I still have that critical bitch in me when called upon. I still drop the f-bomb every few minutes, can still think up a killer analogy and yeah I have continued to be completely self-righteous at times just not as desperate to proove that now. Although there is still a hell of a lot to critisize in this world, I think as I am getting older I'm realising how much there is to appreciate and value too.


Things will constantly change and it doesnt matter who you were last year or who you were yesterday.Who you feel you should be tommorow, or what you think others expect of you.. Feel just how you want to feel right now and everything will be okay :)


Love Me.


If anyone wants to reminisce however, Click the link below, there's still some pretty good shit in there if I say so myself!

http://photosnshit.spaces.live.com/